born Saturday, September 29, 2018
5:14am
...now to continue on from part one of tatum's birth story
1:10am
sleeping soundly in bed, i suddenly woke from a strong contraction and what then felt like i had lost bladder control and peed from it. in the back of my head i thought "could that have been my water breaking?" (knowing that when your water "breaks" it's not always a gush but can be a trickle). as tired as i was i considered just going back to sleep, but knew i needed to get up to the bathroom to see! as i stood up out of bed to head to the bathroom, the fluid continued and was definitely not pee. i was certain my water broke as it was a running stream. butterflies and nerves suddenly hit me so hard!
1:15am
i called my midwife, susan.
(who later i had found out had been at the birthing inn until midnight getting the rooms put back together after the painting had been finished. bless her heart for all she does.)
i explained to her what had just happened, and that my water seemed to have broke. she said "typically" in these situations when a pregnant mama's water breaks, it's about 12-24 hours until contractions start to pick up. but that that wouldn't be me based on how dilated and effaced i was two days before at my appointment with her. she instructed me to call her when my contractions were 4 minutes apart, and to not push it on waiting. she then suggested i try to go back to sleep and get what rest i could while i could. i was going to need all the energy i could get in the hours to come.
eek! i couldn't believe this was it!
i hadn't ever experienced this before and it felt so odd knowing beforehand that labor soon would be starting and baby was for sure going to be coming today, likely by the afternoon!
brandon heard me up and about in the bathroom and came in to see what was going on. i told him everything, and we decided to both head back to bed and see how the next few hours went. again, typically my labors were long, so we were pretty certain we'd have some time here. my mom was asleep and i decided no sense in waking her until i was actually having contractions and things were starting to progress.
i got myself tucked back into bed and did my best to lay there and rest, trying to go back to sleep.
...but our baby was coming!! TODAY!!
i didn't sleep a wink.
1:45am
contractions. contractions. contractions.
they began. only half an hour after my water breaking. and did not let up.
trying to "rest" through them became impossible. as they intensified brandon was bringing me hot pads, snacks, and water.
there was no deny this was it.
they started and began at 10 minutes apart. and they were intense right from the get go.
2:45am
it was too hard to lay in bed any longer so i got up to work through the contractions. sitting with my legs wide on the exercise ball or holding on to brandon was the best way for me to take on each contraction.
it all began to happen so fast.
contractions had only started an hour ago, yet i was already having to stop and work through every second of each one. i couldn't believe how strong they had already become.
contractions had only started an hour ago, yet i was already having to stop and work through every second of each one. i couldn't believe how strong they had already become.
3:15am
at this point i thought i should just let mom know what was going on. contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart when i first went in to her, and by the time i left they had jumped to 5-6 minutes. i headed back to my room to keep on keeping on through these as the intensity was really increasing. and quick.
3:45am
*time and what was going on was such a blur! i've had to talk to brandon and my mom to help piece the timing & order into place*
by this time i had a couple contractions just 4 minutes apart. that was it! this was the point when susan said to call. but when brandon brought it up, my doubtful mind asked "but for how long should we be 4 minutes between contractions before we need to let her know?" always in labor i doubt, and delay! brandon called susan to ask, and she said to meet her at the birthing inn at 4:30! it was about a 15-20 minute drive for us to the birthing inn, so we didn't have a whole lot of time.
4:00am
we (and by we i mean brandon & mom) packed up our things, got clothes + shoes on, called kristal our birth photographer, brandon's mom rushed over to be at the house with harper and tanner, (who were thankfully fast asleep in bed!), and we worked our way to the car. all while i'm stopping to get through a contraction every few minutes.
4:10am
my contractions picked up so fast at this point. they quickly made their way to only 2-3 minutes apart. so close together that it was taking me forever to get out of the house and into the car. having to stop and work through all these contractions, i could hardly make my way downstairs and out the door.
4:25am
we were on our way and headed to the birthing inn!
contractions sitting down, in the car are the worst! i just wanted to get there to be able to get up and move. by the time we got there i was at a solid two minutes apart with hardly any rest in between. baby was making his way, and coming fast!
4:45am
by now we were at the birthing inn and into the room.
susan and her team had everything all set up and ready to go for me.
i climbed onto the bed and she checked me to see where we were (i don't remember, but i'm sure i was already at a 10 by this point) and how baby's position was. he needed a little bit of adjusting to get right into the ideal position, so susan worked her magic to help to turn him just a bit.
laying on the bed, i suddenly had to throw up (which i always have done in labor) and this was a big sign that we were there. threw my hair up, the tub was being filled, and it was in i went.
holy moly. i couldn't believe we were at this point and we were at this point now.
i haven't a clue what time it was when i got in the tub, or when i started to push. it was all just consecutive, with no time in between to break. i went through a contraction or two, felt the urge to push, and began to do so. physically my body was there and doing it, but mentally i was not. we went from 0-100 quick. too quick. i kept staring at susan in disbelief and vividly remember saying "i can't do this. tell me i can do this."
as i was about to push again susan told me this was it, he was coming this time. i could.not.believe.it. HOW??? i had just gotten here to the birthing inn no more than 30 minutes ago.
TATUM.
sweet tatum.
he was here. he was so, so here.
his perfect face. his perfect lips. his perfectly healthy little baby body.
we did it. and it was truly over before i knew it.
as cherished and special as this birth of birthing tatum is to me. it really is so near and dear to my heart and i am so so thankful that i was for the third time able to have the natural, water birth experience that i so badly wanted. in some ways i've also mourned this birth process. i LOVE birth and i LOVE pregnancy. and this time it was over faster than i could comprehend. 3.5 hours from start to finish, where my body did so much during that time. each phase of labor went by in a snap. all too quick for me to wrap my mind around it and process what was happening. and suddenly there i was with my baby in my arms and semi confused, yet so overjoyed that he was here! as i've looked through our birth photos, i find myself staring at my face and feeling those emotions all over again. i can see my initial uncertainty of 'what just happened?', which then turned to complete happiness and relief for holding my baby tatum. my perfect baby tatum.
these pictures have helped me to process all that those few hours held for me.
"when a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21
i hame some amazing birth and after-birth pictures that kristal took. stay tuned for a part III post where i will share more of those.
i hame some amazing birth and after-birth pictures that kristal took. stay tuned for a part III post where i will share more of those.
{clickable links here to previous posts}
tatum's birth story | part I
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